The heiress to a multi-million dollar tomato soup company, except she hates soup. A housewife who does modeling on the side for her cousin’s fashion brand, so she receives media attention occasionally. She’s shy, though, and prefers she didn’t.
Lowkey the horniest out of all three of them.
Likes- Lingerie
- Chet's freckles
- Being pushed around by Chet (but only Chet)
- Cuddles, snuggles, and lots of love
Sol's husband. He's endearingly weird and full of energy. There was a point in time where he was upset at being unpopular but now he’s made peace with it. He works at the soup company after making a deal with Sol’s parents to take her place.
Willing to try anything at least once for his wife. He can read her well, which makes him great in bed.
Likes- Balls
- Oral sex (on his balls)
- Seeing Sol in lingerie
- Going along with Sol's kinks
A fallen football star who's going through a midlife crisis. Never figured out his sexuality but tells everyone he's firmly straight. He thinks Sol is hot and gets confused when he looks at Chet. Works at his dad’s hamster breeding business that probably operates out of a garage.
Divorced twice. His last wife left him overnight and he still doesn’t know why.
Likes- Hot women
- Muscles (don't tell anyone)
- Chet (definitely don't tell anyone!)
- Getting bossed around by Chet (taking this to his grave)